2 WES aphorisms

WES aphorisms

General rules of lost things:

  1. Gravity
  2. Horizontal Spreading – things move sideways
  3. Time – the longer until you find it, the less likely
  4. You always find a thing in the last place you look

Horizontal surfaces are a haven for clutter.

Grace after meal before dessert: Is the former prayer still good?

The “QBC (initials of church or organization) meal plan” consists of  snacks or more substantial food at each social occasion (funerals, weddings etc).

First law of statistics: Everything has a 50% probability – it will either happen, or it won’t.

It’s improper to care more than the person who should, and its corollary:[br]You don’t help someone by doing his job for him.

If you can’t listen, you can feel, and its corollary:[br]You shouldn’t take away somebody’s right to be a fool.

I ain’t afraid.

If not you, who?

If not now, when?

The first one to name a number loses.

Can it be for both of us? (Pooh)

The money angle:  Behind all human action, there’s a motive for financial gain; find that, and you’ll know why things happen.  National governments control wealth, and God controls them, so ultimately He owns it all.

There are three kinds of mail:

  1. You owe them money, as a legitimate obligation; this category includes bank statements or receipts for money you’ve already paid.  These should be processed as is appropriate.
  2. They want to sell you something (they think you have money, and want you to give it to them); their usually lower postal rates cause higher rates for the rest of us.  These should be discarded unopened, as you owe them nothing.  (These usually have a postage-paid envelope)
  3. Personal correspondence – read, respond, file as appropriate.

Children’s words

I taught all our children to read, at times fit for their ages, using the King James Bible, sitting on my bed for morning devotions.  We held family devotions most evenings, usually on our living room couch, reading through the Bible with a paper guide put out by QBC; we sang hymns, usually accompanied by my guitar.  These formative times often featured skits and songs performed by the children using piano and various other instruments.  Their unique and memorable expressions were spontaneous; we remember these fondly:

Joseph:

  • Hofferkoffer(helicopter)
  • Bee-yamps(ambulance)
  • Giggo-bye(gingerbread/thank-you)
  • Lello(yellow)

John:

  • His version of the winter song went like this:  “We prayed for snowplows in the sky; I’ll bet the snow-makes fall.”
  • In kindergarten, he compared his apples and carrot sticks to other childen’s snacks. One day he came home from school and told Ginny, “I want a real snack for school, like Twinkies or a Ring Ding”.  As a teenager, he became quite good at playing “Keep Stock in America” during QBC refreshment times, and is perhaps most famous for maintaining a cache of Baby Watson cheesecakes in the basement freezer.

Betsy:

  • Maz-agine(magazine)
  • Raddig-g(Raggedy) Ann/Andy
  • Bet27(her kindergarten-first grade signature)
  • Mimi(milk)

Ben:

  • Bin-da-bin(Benjamin)

Irene:

  • Goob(good)
  • Chicken pops(pox)
  • “Mom said I could have a pudding pop (looks at the clock) at 10 minutes to 2” (said to her brother, who was much older)
  • Thumberstorn(thunderstorm)